Lasting Impressions - Often in life you meet someone who leaves behind a lasting impression for whatever reason - small or big, good or bad... more on lasting impressions...
I met him while I was overcoming a failed relationship (if you could ever call it a relationship in the first place), okay let me reword it - I met him while I was overcoming a failed albeit serious attempt at a relationship. Anyway, sometimes you strike friendship in the most unlikely of places. And this was one of those times.
We shared a few classes together - invariably it was either the first class of the day or the one before lunch time or the last class of the day. That means it was always time for a break before or after the class. Morning classes brought breakfast pangs, afternoon ones inevitably were followed by lunches and the evening class with a walk home.
He was a very interesting dude and very, very different from any other friend I had had before him. He was a body-builder, a health-freak, a rock climber, a certified gym trainer. He kept a calorie count of what all he ate (first guy I met who did that!) And he said the most audacious things I had heard before (these days I could put him to shame ;-) ). And had a wacky sense of humor. A year or two senior to me, he was a total player - he had had 5-6 girlfriends / relationships by the time we met, most of them Americans. He was in a relationship with an American (I think) while we met. I never asked. I don't interfere in personal matters... generally.
He told me once, 'Indian girls scare me!' I guess he was scared by the severity of expectations an Indian girl generally has from a relationship and like any other guy across the world he was a commitment phobic.
But even then, as sheltered as I had been throughout my life, I still liked him as a friend and found his company very amusing whatever my other friends thought about it. And I do know some of them were very skeptical about it. But he never treated me more than a friend or less than a friend and I liked spending time with him. Spending time with him also made me aware of a few things about me as well, and for that I will always be grateful for the short duration of friendly acquaintance that we shared.
Some incidents that stay in my mind with him...
While walking down to one of our morning classes, there were some sorority tables lined up serving muffins and bagels and the like. I generally whizzed past them barely glancing that way. Never had much of a sugar tooth and those bagels and cakes never tempted me. But while entering the elevator, he paused and said...
S: That chocolate muffin has 15 calories in it.
Me: So? (As I pressed the elevator to take us to the floor where our classes were being held.)
S: I can afford only 7.5 calories at the moment.
Me (with a roll of the eyes at the ever present calorie count): So?
S: So will you take the other 7.5 calories so that I do not exceed the number of calories I can spare? (The elevator doors opened to our destination)
Me: (with a laugh) why couldn't you just say, 'Will you share a muffin with me?'
S: (shrugged)
Me: okay, lets go. (With that I pressed the down button of the elevator once again)
Some other time in class, sitting next to me he was playing with some sort of clay, squeezing it again and again. It was very distracting to me, let me tell you.
Me: What are you doing?
S: My rock climbing instructor says that my fingers are too weak. I need to build up strength in them. So he has suggested some finger exercises.
Me: (shaking head in exasperation. By this time I was used to the statements pouring out of his mouth and his convoluted logic - at that time for me) okay
S: You wanna try? (with that he offered me the clay)
Not to offend him, I took it and tried instead of saying what I actually felt about that at the moment. 'It seems stupid.'
It was pretty hard and I was having difficulty squeezing it.
Me: Its tough
S: Oh. Dont worry, I will get softer clay for you tomorrow then you can try on that.
Me: Its okay. I dont need strong fingers. I do not rock climb.
S: I will still get it for you.
And sure as it was, I did find him the next day waiting for me in class with an empty seat next to him and a softer version of the clay in front of that seat.
S: For you (With that he turned back to look at the lecturer in front of the class)
The clay sure was softer and fun. And I was touched that even after me refusing he would go ahead and bring that for me. And here I thought I was giving him all negative vibes about that clay!
Another time, we were having lunch together in the cafetaria. He had got these four huge slices of brown bread and another box filled with sliced tomatoes, sliced onions, few lettuce leaves and some boiled egg white slices. With that he began assembling a sandwich while I was eating my lunch.
Me: What are you doing?
S: Making a sandwich
Me: Why are you doing that here?
S: So that the bread does not turn soggy.
Me: What about the eggs? Where is the yolk?
S: Can't afford to eat that.
Me: Why?
S: Too much cholesterol
Me: And this egg-white is fine.
S: (keeping his sandwich making at a pause) I need 70 grams of protein each day to maintain my muscles for rock climbing. These are egg-whites of eight eggs which provide me with approximately 40 grams of protein. The rest I will take at dinner time when I have chicken.
I was staring at him trying to make head or tail of what he was saying and he said all that with a straight face. I never repeated the mistake of asking about his meals again.
Some days later....
S: Would you like to come to dinner at my place?
Me: Special occasion?
S: Na. I was making roasted chicken. My roomies are vegetarian. I could use some company. Bring along your roomie, I know she is fond of non-veg too.
He actually had not met my roomie, just heard about her from me.
Me: Okay. sure we will.
The food was amazing and we had some great fun with his roomies as well trying to do some match-making (but that is another story). I sure didn't know S could cook so well.
Once...
S: I think you should take up rock-climbing
Me: I am not interested
S: You will like it if you try it.
Me: Seems too tough.
S: I will teach you. It will be fun. You don't need much to start with. Some gear, some shoes. You can get good second hand as well. It will just cost you 80 bucks to start off.
Me: And what about the classes?
S: Twice a week, 40 bucks each.
Me: I don't have that kind of money to spare.
S: Oh well... Think about it.
I was quiet, but I thought it was sweet of him to try to include me in his favorite activity. If I had that kind of money, I would have been persuaded to take up rock-climbing just to honor his offer to make me feel 'included'.
Once while we were walking to school in the snow.
S: I think you should join the gym
Me: (hesitatingly) I go there sometimes. I do not find it interesting enough.
S: I could accompany you there. I go there everyday.
Me: Thanks
S: Or we could go on a jog early morning. It will be fun. We could start with 2 miles and slowly increase it up to 10 miles a day.
Me: Are you crazy? Its snowing. There is ice all around. I will trip and fall.
S: I could motivate you.
I was too exasperated to say anything to him. I had no interest of going on a jog in the snow on an icy street. I was bound to fall. I trip way too much. I am way too clumsy. He gave up after few days.
I make friends easily, I talk a lot. I knew about half the student population in our town and also the maintenance guys, the girls working at the Rental House, the fire department and police (don't ask how!) Once while walking down the street to home with him, I was waving and wishing everyone we came across 'hi'.
S: You seem to know everyone.
Me: (shrugs)
S: I have been here before you. I don't know as many people.
Me: (shrugs again)
S: I don't talk to many Indians here I guess. Specially not to any girls.
Me: (with a laugh) You are talking to one now.
S: Yeah. But you are different.
Me: How so?
S: You don't get offended by things I say
Me: What kind of things? I didn't know you said anything to offend me or anyone?
S: Yeah. But like, if I like a girl, the first thing I would notice is her (gesturing with hands to make b**bs)
Me: (with a laugh) Stop making those gestures. People will misconstrue what you are saying.
S: See. That's what I meant. Any other Indian girl would get offended, you laugh it off. Its easy to talk to you.
I gave another laugh and changed the topic. But I wondered, was there some truth in what he said? That incident was probably what made me realize that I sure am a little different from my other friends and I am more candid or can take a conversation with more of a pinch of salt as compared to other friends of mine. Today I realize that the understanding S had of me, was just a tip of the iceberg. I do not get offended easily on stuff others in my place would.
I had very refreshing talks with him during the entire time I have known him. There never was a dull moment with him. And the best part was, it was just plain friendship, not a single romantic intent on either part.
It was fun knowing S!
