Lasting Impressions - Often in life you meet someone who leaves behind a lasting impression for whatever reason - small or big, good or bad... more on lasting impressions...
She is one of the best human beings I have known in my life. You know you watch the idiot box and wonder 'why do they show such self-sacrificing female protagonists when you would not find one in real life???' Well she was the exception. She was actually a self-sacrificing female!
She was a year elder to me. Had done her bachelors back home in India from an REC - now known as NIT. But she was naive in matters other than studies... too naive. She felt the first stirrings of love in front of me. I knew her love story - been through every step of it. By the way, her dude is a gem of a guy - a rare specimen. I respect him a lot for standing up for her in all situations. Before becoming a life partner, he already passed the test of 'for better or for worse'.
But back to our story, when she was on the precipe, ready to take that plunge into love, she one day came up to me. She had gone for a long drive with him the evening before. I suppose he held hands and probably kissed her. We were in the basement library.
J: Mujhe tumse kuch poochna hai
Me: Bolo
J: Bachha kaise hota hai?
Me (staring at her for a whole 2 mins before opening my mouth): Dekh ek ladka hota hai aur ek ladki, ladke mein xy chromosome hota hai aur ladki mein xx... (I tried to make light of it)
J: I am not asking that. I know that.
Me: To kya pooch rahi hai? Tune 9th standard mein Reproductive Biology ka chapter nahi padha kya?
J: I bunked the class. Mujhe sharam aa rahi thi
Me (mouth agape):
See this is what happens when they do not do sex education the proper way in our country!
Me: why? It was in boards as well, what did you answer there?
J: I omitted it. I left it in option.
Me (shaking head): You were in a hostel for 4 years before coming here. Didn't anyone tell you anything?
J: I never listened to what they said. I even left the room, when all were watching a pr0n movie.
Me (quiet for a moment): What do you want to ask?
J: bachha kaise hota hai? Kya karte hain?
I was feeling embarassed discussing this outright, never had that outright a discussion on this before where I would be the teacher. I looked around, went to the central display area and picked a harlequin (MB) book and opened the page to the right one, came back and gave it to her.
Me: Read this and then if you still want to know something, ask.
She left me for a while and then there she was again next to me with the same hopeful look.
J: yeh sab to maine padh liya but I have some doubts.
Me: bol
J: kapde utaarne padte hain
Me (flabbergasted): haan
J: upar ke bhi?
Me: upar ke utaar, na utaar. teri marzi. meri jaan mat kha!
I dunno how she went ahead with the relationship, but she did. And they even got married and have a wonderful son now. Don't ask me how he happened to come along!
Once after being out on a date with her guy she came back to me and said,
J: I have some questions
Me: Again?
J: Haan. Woh thong kya hota hai?
Me (Showing her a pic on the net): Yeh
J: Aur garter?
Me (Raising an eyebrow): What have you been upto?
J: Nahi woh aaj P ke saath bahar thi to wahan ek ladki ko dekh ke woh bola, "She has to be wearing a thong to be wearing that dress." Fir doosri ko dekh ke bola, "Ah. I didn't know people actually wear garters these days."
I just shook my head and proceeded to show her few racy lingerie pics. I guess she owns some of herself now! ;)
She was a devout Hindu. Often I went to the temple over there because of her, to accompany her. Warna mujhe to Pandit ki peeli silk dhoti, ladkiyon ke sexy salwar kameezes aur bachhon ke saath khelne ke alawa kya kheencta wahan. Dont get me wrong, I aint an atheist. I just believe that religion should be something personal, that is to say between you and your God. A place of worship mostly complicates matters, especially when there is a congregation. If you are spending some alone time there by yourself, I am all for going to a place of worship.
One day she asked me to accompany her with another of our friends to the Hindu Temple at Canton. I agreed. It was Maha Shivratri. (Shiv's my favorite God of the Hindu Pantheon. But more on him some other time.) But as usual, once there I started noticing everything over there apart from the "Mantro-ucharan" happening. Now, it is a ritual to bathe the "Shiv-Ling" with water daily and on special occasions as this, with milk.
So here I see the good yellow silk dhoti-ed Pundit ji pouring gallon after gallon of Vit D, Full Cream, Skimmed, Half & Half, all varieties of milk on the Shiv-Ling, which was going down the drain. I was flabbergasted. I know they do this in India on the pretext of belief, but in US?? I thought they would be more conscientious!
And I couldn't resist and uttered...
Me: What are they upto? They could have given that much milk to some needy instead of throwing it down the drain.
J: Tum chup raho. Tumhe kuch pata vata nahi. Aise hi hota hai. Doodh chadhana padta hai Shivji ko.
Me: Yeah I know. But gallons? Half a gallon would have been enough. Baki sab Bhagwan ke charno mein hi tha. Chadh hi gaya samjho. Vaise ka vaisa donate kyun nahi kar dete yeh log gareebon mein?
J: Tum chup raho bas abhi.
I kept quiet seeing her get angry. I know people are generally touchy about religion. But on the way back I again tried to explain my point. But she was adamant.
J: Bhagwan ke baare mein aisa nahi bolte.
Me: Bhagwan bura nahi manenge. He is God. He will be understanding enough. And if he doesn't understand, he isn't God.
J: Chup raho tum. Kuch nahi pata. Shiv-Ling hai woh.
Me: Tujhe pata bhi hai Shiv-Ling kya hota hai.
J: Haan Shiv Ji ka swaroop.
Me: Tu gadhi hai. Shiv-Ling, Shiv ka Ling hai. Matlab unka pen!s.
J: Shut up. Bakwas mat karo.
I looked stunned at her. She actually didnt know this. And she is a devout follower of Hinduism and Shiv Ji in particular. I tried explaining it to her about the union of the male and female form, a symbol of fertility in the Shiv-Ling. She dissuaded all my attempts. I went back and opened google and showed the information to her. She said,
J: You are making up stuff. You put that up and now your drawing up pages.
I was amazed at the kind of intelligence and effort she was attributing to me for that information. I could not convince her then, but a few days later she got convinced.
There are many incidents with her that stayed on with me. But she never ever changed. And I hope to the same Shiv Ji she prayed so fervently to, may she remains as she is... always.
She is one of the best human beings I have known in my life. You know you watch the idiot box and wonder 'why do they show such self-sacrificing female protagonists when you would not find one in real life???' Well she was the exception. She was actually a self-sacrificing female!
She was a year elder to me. Had done her bachelors back home in India from an REC - now known as NIT. But she was naive in matters other than studies... too naive. She felt the first stirrings of love in front of me. I knew her love story - been through every step of it. By the way, her dude is a gem of a guy - a rare specimen. I respect him a lot for standing up for her in all situations. Before becoming a life partner, he already passed the test of 'for better or for worse'.
But back to our story, when she was on the precipe, ready to take that plunge into love, she one day came up to me. She had gone for a long drive with him the evening before. I suppose he held hands and probably kissed her. We were in the basement library.
J: Mujhe tumse kuch poochna hai
Me: Bolo
J: Bachha kaise hota hai?
Me (staring at her for a whole 2 mins before opening my mouth): Dekh ek ladka hota hai aur ek ladki, ladke mein xy chromosome hota hai aur ladki mein xx... (I tried to make light of it)
J: I am not asking that. I know that.
Me: To kya pooch rahi hai? Tune 9th standard mein Reproductive Biology ka chapter nahi padha kya?
J: I bunked the class. Mujhe sharam aa rahi thi
Me (mouth agape):
See this is what happens when they do not do sex education the proper way in our country!
Me: why? It was in boards as well, what did you answer there?
J: I omitted it. I left it in option.
Me (shaking head): You were in a hostel for 4 years before coming here. Didn't anyone tell you anything?
J: I never listened to what they said. I even left the room, when all were watching a pr0n movie.
Me (quiet for a moment): What do you want to ask?
J: bachha kaise hota hai? Kya karte hain?
I was feeling embarassed discussing this outright, never had that outright a discussion on this before where I would be the teacher. I looked around, went to the central display area and picked a harlequin (MB) book and opened the page to the right one, came back and gave it to her.
Me: Read this and then if you still want to know something, ask.
She left me for a while and then there she was again next to me with the same hopeful look.
J: yeh sab to maine padh liya but I have some doubts.
Me: bol
J: kapde utaarne padte hain
Me (flabbergasted): haan
J: upar ke bhi?
Me: upar ke utaar, na utaar. teri marzi. meri jaan mat kha!
I dunno how she went ahead with the relationship, but she did. And they even got married and have a wonderful son now. Don't ask me how he happened to come along!
Once after being out on a date with her guy she came back to me and said,
J: I have some questions
Me: Again?
J: Haan. Woh thong kya hota hai?
Me (Showing her a pic on the net): Yeh
J: Aur garter?
Me (Raising an eyebrow): What have you been upto?
J: Nahi woh aaj P ke saath bahar thi to wahan ek ladki ko dekh ke woh bola, "She has to be wearing a thong to be wearing that dress." Fir doosri ko dekh ke bola, "Ah. I didn't know people actually wear garters these days."
I just shook my head and proceeded to show her few racy lingerie pics. I guess she owns some of herself now! ;)
She was a devout Hindu. Often I went to the temple over there because of her, to accompany her. Warna mujhe to Pandit ki peeli silk dhoti, ladkiyon ke sexy salwar kameezes aur bachhon ke saath khelne ke alawa kya kheencta wahan. Dont get me wrong, I aint an atheist. I just believe that religion should be something personal, that is to say between you and your God. A place of worship mostly complicates matters, especially when there is a congregation. If you are spending some alone time there by yourself, I am all for going to a place of worship.
One day she asked me to accompany her with another of our friends to the Hindu Temple at Canton. I agreed. It was Maha Shivratri. (Shiv's my favorite God of the Hindu Pantheon. But more on him some other time.) But as usual, once there I started noticing everything over there apart from the "Mantro-ucharan" happening. Now, it is a ritual to bathe the "Shiv-Ling" with water daily and on special occasions as this, with milk.
So here I see the good yellow silk dhoti-ed Pundit ji pouring gallon after gallon of Vit D, Full Cream, Skimmed, Half & Half, all varieties of milk on the Shiv-Ling, which was going down the drain. I was flabbergasted. I know they do this in India on the pretext of belief, but in US?? I thought they would be more conscientious!
And I couldn't resist and uttered...
Me: What are they upto? They could have given that much milk to some needy instead of throwing it down the drain.
J: Tum chup raho. Tumhe kuch pata vata nahi. Aise hi hota hai. Doodh chadhana padta hai Shivji ko.
Me: Yeah I know. But gallons? Half a gallon would have been enough. Baki sab Bhagwan ke charno mein hi tha. Chadh hi gaya samjho. Vaise ka vaisa donate kyun nahi kar dete yeh log gareebon mein?
J: Tum chup raho bas abhi.
I kept quiet seeing her get angry. I know people are generally touchy about religion. But on the way back I again tried to explain my point. But she was adamant.
J: Bhagwan ke baare mein aisa nahi bolte.
Me: Bhagwan bura nahi manenge. He is God. He will be understanding enough. And if he doesn't understand, he isn't God.
J: Chup raho tum. Kuch nahi pata. Shiv-Ling hai woh.
Me: Tujhe pata bhi hai Shiv-Ling kya hota hai.
J: Haan Shiv Ji ka swaroop.
Me: Tu gadhi hai. Shiv-Ling, Shiv ka Ling hai. Matlab unka pen!s.
J: Shut up. Bakwas mat karo.
I looked stunned at her. She actually didnt know this. And she is a devout follower of Hinduism and Shiv Ji in particular. I tried explaining it to her about the union of the male and female form, a symbol of fertility in the Shiv-Ling. She dissuaded all my attempts. I went back and opened google and showed the information to her. She said,
J: You are making up stuff. You put that up and now your drawing up pages.
I was amazed at the kind of intelligence and effort she was attributing to me for that information. I could not convince her then, but a few days later she got convinced.
There are many incidents with her that stayed on with me. But she never ever changed. And I hope to the same Shiv Ji she prayed so fervently to, may she remains as she is... always.
