What comes to mind when one thinks of a Police Station invariably resembles the scenes from the movies. Wooden tables and chairs, constables and SIs standing or sitting acting nonchalant, a cabin with half wooden swinging doors leading to the office of the officer-in-charge, a lock-up with a couple of thugs sitting idly there.
So I was pleasantly surprised when I stepped inside the doors of Sarita Vihar Police Station at 8:30 p.m. in the night to lodge a complaint of a lost PAN card for a friend. First thing that comes to your mind is that the building is huge and very, very clean. Instead of that wooden table there was a granite stone counter as if I had stepped inside a restaurant lobby and approached the reception. The black granite was half a hexagon in shape with two SIs sitting on the other side. There was an aquarium (yes! an aquarium) lying against one of the walls. There was a big staircase going up next to that wall and the wall belonged to a room which they later informed me was a Computer Room were complaints were written and registered. Talk about modernization!
I was expecting a rebuff from the officers and was hesitant to approach them. But they were very understanding and well behaved... at least to us. They wrote down the complaint in a register and then sent it inside to be documented on the "Computer" in the Computer Room. (The guy in there types too slow lemme tell you, I could have typed their entire Complaint Lot for the month in that time!) We ended up spending 2 hours in the Station and boy! What an entertaining two hours, unlike what I would have expected out of an Indian Police Station.
SI-1: Kahan ke hain aap? Delhi ke to nahi lagte.
Me: Ji, hum bahar se aaye hain, main ahmedabad
MyFrd: Aur main, haridwar
SI-2: Acchaa, padhne aaye hain ya naukri karne?
Me: Naukri
SI-1: Kafi kamaa lete honge?
Me (In apprehension): Theek thaak kamaa lete hain
SI-2: tees-chalees hazaar to mil hi jaate honge?
Me: Kahan? Itna bhi nahi.
SI-1: Hum se to zyada hi kamate honge
Me: Pata nahi. Par humein aapki tarah ghar bhi to nahi milte. (Hinting at the neat looking Police Quarters behind the station)
SI-2: uske liye number lagta hai. aur fir agar woh dete hain to hamari salary se 4-6 hazaar kaat dete hain. ab 10-12 mein se 4-6 kaat dein to kya bachega
(No wonder there is so much corruption in the indian police!)
SI-1: Vaise achha hai, aap ke maa-baap ne itna padhaya aapko yahan bheja naukri ke liye.. hamare wahan ki ladkiyan to haryana ka gaanv se aage tak nahi jaati. kyun bhai?
SI-2: Na bhai na... maine apni beti ko padhaya. ab woh B.Com. second year mein hai. usko ghar pe baithne ke liye thodi na padhaya. kal ko uski shaadi hogi, woh bhi kaam karegi uska pati bhi. main to yeh manoon hoon ki zindagi ki gadi do pahiyon pe chale hai. dono mil jut ke kaam karenge to hi gadi sahi se chalegi. kyun, madam ji?
Me: Ji (Talk about Care for the Girl Child!)
SI-2: khana khaoge?
MyFrd: Nahi...
SI-2: Kha lo. meri biwi ne paneer ki sabzi banayi hai.
Me: Nahi, iska vrat hai. to ghar pe hi khayegi, aur main ghar jake uske saath hi khaoongi
SI-1: Vrat hai? Somvar ka? Shiv ji ke liye kiya hai... achhe pati ke liye?
Me & MyFrd laughing
Constable:Chai
MyFrd (Taking tea): thanks
Me: Nahi.. thank you.
SI-1: Arre kyun nahi... khane ke liye bhi na bol diya, chai ke liye bhi. Aap ke liye hi to mangayi hai. Piyo chalo (raising voice)
Me (at once taking tea plastic cup and drinking): Thanks!
(By the way, for those who don't know "I dont drink tea!" Darr insaan se kya kya karwata hai! *sighs*)
In between there were two-three other conversations with other people and two hours just vanished.
Conversation 1:
SrOfficer: Aaj Ghaziabad thane se ek constable aaya tha. hamara thana dekh ke dekhta reh gaya. Five star hotel laga use.
SI-1: unka thana aisa nahi hota hoga na
SrOfficer: Usko khane ki thali di to bola hotel se aayi hai. maine bola haan, teen rupay ki hai. laa nikaal
(all police officers burst out in to guffaws!)
Conversation 2:
Guy (Seemed drunk): Mujhe complain likhwani hai. 405 ke driver aur conducter ke khilaaf
SI-1: Tu staff hai na
Guy: Haan. 460 ka
SI-2: Tune bhi daru peeke danga kiya hoga.
Guy: Nahi. aap complain likho meri
SI-2: theek hai. (opened last page of register and started doodling)
Guy: aap meri complain nahi likh rahe ho.
SI-1: zyada bol na, warna thane mein band kar doonga raat bhar ke liye.
SI-2: vaise bhi abhi tak udghatan nahi hua hai, tere se hi karwaaonga
(Guy left mumbling.)
Me: hamara kaam ho gaya hoga to hum jaayein?
SI-1 (to constable): zara dekhna madamji ki report likhwayi ki nahi compooter mein?
Finally guy came out with printout of report. He was taking so long, I was really thinking of going and typing it out myself.
Me: Theek hai fir. hum chalte hain. Thank you.
SI-1: kuch zaroorat ho to aate rehna
SI-2: haan batana humein
SI-3 came to see us off. See us off? I was bewildered!
SI-3: main yahan ka SI hoon duty pe. round pe rehta hoon. zaroorat pade to bolna.
What a day! Never thought I would have such an experience as well from the Delhi Police. And they were really sticking to their motto, 'aapki seva mein tat par...'
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