Its complicated!

I like stories where girl meets boy, they fall in love and after some minor squabbles marry and live happily ever after.

I don't like love triangles, especially if all the three corners are upheld by someone nice, coz I don't like when two of this trio fall in love and the third one is left nursing a broken heart.

What can I say, I am a die-hard romantic at heart! I just don't see the world through rose-tinted glasses. I want the world to be rosy enough, that those glasses are not required. But things never happen the way you want them to, do they?

In today's world its not just triangles that scare me, its much more complicated! Its the love Polygons stretching over a function of time that scare the wits out of me!!! We joke when someone's relationship status says 'Its complicated', but there is a wealth of wisdom in those words.

What terrifies me is when the person who gets attracted to you is a friend and though you may not think of him or her in a romantic way, he or she still goes ahead and falls for you. Its so much of a strain on a relationship, on your friendship when something like that happens. I do not know how to react in such situations and I often bungle up things. My friendships have never survived the strain of one-sided attraction, whether the fault for that lies with me or the other person is a different question.

The first time it happened, I wrote a poem; the recent time it happened, I am writing this blog.

The Past
Could have avoided the past!
Just remember what happened last?
The harsh words spoken,
Or the hearts broken:
Acting like an imp -
When it could have been a nymph!

Out in life's column
To make myself ever so solemn
The time, the impression, words that failed me;
But ever so much the friend to be -
Here when I am in need...
To be a friend indeed!

The time lost could never be gained,
Life, as it is, untamed!
Learnt quite a few things -
How to pull the strings!
If not the past, the present can be set right:
Leading to a future that is bright!

1. Another time, I left things drift away. I had a huge crush on the guy and it would never ever have materialized anyway.


2. Another time it happened, I tried my best, but the other person gave up. I have to admit though, if things were different at that point of time, I could have, would have had a relationship here. The timing of realization was too wrong and I was, have been always too practical.


3. Another time, I acted as if that conversation never happened, but due to some other reasons we drifted away from our friendship.


4. Another time, I was repulsed coz the person just didnt know when to give up and I severed all ties.


5. And another time, I was on the opposite spectrum and not ready to accept less. However I did come to my senses and cut every modicum of contact.


6. Another time, I am gradually drifting. And since I do not want to give up entirely, I do talk once in a while - say once in 3-4 months.

And this time, I am yet again clueless. But I hope I can come through.

Relationships scare me, these complicated ones more so. Why can't the world be a perfect place - a simple place where there is no space for complications?